I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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