He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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