we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
