do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
