Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
