im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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