I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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