You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
