Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
