I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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