Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
honey bunches of taint.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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