I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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