I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
