why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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