thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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