Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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