What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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