I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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