so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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