bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
