Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
