today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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