If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
