if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
