just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
