Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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