It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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