i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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