I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
