:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
