I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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