I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
