Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fuck appropriateness.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize