Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
