I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
