Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize