spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
