...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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