we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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