I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
