You made me cry and you don't even care
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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