ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
