I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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