Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
