So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
