Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
