this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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