Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
