What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
