Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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