i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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