To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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