worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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