Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
