I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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