Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I cannot find my penis.
He kissed a someone with a penis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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